You know you’re a small business owner when…
- Losing an unsaved (or insufficiently saved) document can rapidly ready you for a nice padded cell in a home for the criminally insane. You almost always swear. You sometimes cry.
- You were once able to go to a fancy dress party as a zebra, because you tried to use those awful refillable toner cartridges – you know, the evil #fongkong ones that come with the syringe?
- Your daily mood is 100% proportional to the strength and reliability of your internet connection (and, these days, whether you have running water and/or electricity that day).
- You’ve seriously considered a) branding your car or b) erecting a massive billboard along the perimeter wall of your house.
- You are paranoid about being breathed on by other people.
- You are the only person in your social circle who despises public holidays. Same workload; fewer days to do it in.
- December is both wonderful and terrible. Yes, it’s holiday time, but you (usually) don’t get a 13th cheque. And everyone else in your life does. Including your own staff.
- You screech towards said December like Wile E Coyote about to tumble off the cliff – no slowing, no braking – and you inevitably get a head cold on the first or second day of your break.
- You keep a notepad and pen next to the bed, so that when you wake in a cold sweat at 4am you can list all of the urgent and important things you have to remember to do the next day.
- You’ve worked, with remarkable efficiency, at swimming galas, doctor’s offices, the licensing department, and in your car. I once even sat cross-legged in my own boot (trunk), in the parking lot of a hospital.
I’ve scored 10 out of a possible 10. Fabulous. Now you give it a try.
How do YOU know you’re a small business owner? Let me know.