Dear reader, let’s talk costing, negotiating what you charge and getting your own damn money…

But first: Int’l Women’s Month is a load of bloody nonsense – especially now, as progress is uneven and, in some instances, reversing. With one more day of performative allyship left to tolerate, here’s something real for women.

HOW TO CHARGE LIKE A GROWN-UP

I didn’t always know what to charge. Back in 2005, when I started my business at age 24, I used to ask my mother. She had literally no experience in my field. But she was available, she believed in me and she had plenty of opinions.

When that started to feel as ridiculous as it was, I moved on to something more ‘sophisticated’: I began pricing based on what I thought the client would find reasonable. (Not what would sustain me; not what reflected the work.) Somehow, the client’s budget always seemed more relevant than my business.

Spoiler alert: This method is unsustainable. Once you’ve underpriced a piece of work, the dynamic shifts and every extra request irritates you. You become more accommodating than is sensible and more available than is healthy.

Most of the women I encounter in my professional and personal life are highly capable. They’re excellent at what they do. They show up, they deliver, they solve problems. But when it comes to money, they hesitate — looking for signals that it’s okay to charge what they need to charge. We’ve been trained to seek approval before asserting ourselves and this shows up:

• when we set our rates,
• when we need to defend them, and
• when we follow up money owed.

SETTING THE RATES

You need to know your Minimum Acceptable Rate (MAR), a.k.a the number below which it doesn’t make sense to get out of bed and do the work.

The calculation is straightforward.

You take your personal monthly costs and your professional monthly costs, add them together, and divide that by the number of hours you work in a month. Then you factor in tax at, say, 25%. What you get is a baseline. It’s not a dream number; it’s the point at which your business remains viable.

Buuuut, this number is only a starting point. It reflects cost, not value. (If you stop here, you’ll still under-charge, but in a slightly more organised way.)

You must still layer in context: the niche you work in, the level you work at, the demand for what you do. If your output is highly specialised, if you have experience, if people seek you out, your pricing should reflect that. Always turning work away? You could actually be charging too little.

Here’s another thing that catches women out: the hours you bill are not the only hours you work. There’s a whole category of time that sits in the background: admin, proposals, sales conversations, marketing, finance, fixing stuff that’s broken. If you base your pricing only on billable hours, you’re under-estimating the true operating costs of your business.

DEFENDING THE RATES

Once you have rates that make sense, the next challenge is holding them.

When a client kicks off a negotiation with you, you’re not being asked to negotiate your worth; you’re being called on to revise the practical elements of the work: what’s included, how long it will take, when it will happen, etc.

And when a client pushes back on price, you have a set of choices to consider. You can accept what they’re offering, you can decline, or you can re-shape the scope of work so that it aligns with what they want to spend.

This helps you to protect your rates.

It’s also where language matters, because when you say something like, “At that budget, we’d need to adjust scope,” you’re changing (and taking control of) the conversation by managing the parameters of the project.

A few practical habits make this easier:

• Never apologise for your rate. It signals uncertainty and invites negotiation.
• Say the price clearly and then be quiet. Give the other person space to respond. Resist the urge to fill the silence with explanations.
• Be careful about over-servicing to compensate for your discomfort. It trains clients to expect more output for the same price.

GETTING THE MONEY IN

This is where our need to be liked often overrides our need to be clear and firm. Our emails get softer, longer, more indirect — or they swing in the opposite direction and become abrupt and confrontational.

We either go full apology: “Hi, sorry, just checking, I know you’re busy, no pressure, just wondering…” Or we go full mafia: “PAY IMMEDIATELY.” The sweet spot is what I call ‘respectfully certain’, where you:

• Use a tone that’s calm, factual and certain. State what’s outstanding, what it relates to, when it was due and what you need to happen now.
• Start with a straightforward reminder and, if nothing happens, follow up with a firmer request and a clear date.
• If the pattern continues, escalate and set consequences, like pausing further work. Your shift in tone should be a response to behaviour, not the result of growing annoyance.

In 2005, I asked my mother what to charge. She loves me, so she tried to help. But she had no idea and honestly, neither did I. Today, I do have an idea — and so do you. Stop looking for someone else to tell you what’s okay. You need your numbers, your nerve and the willingness to hold both.

That’s it.

Liked this? Good. Now stop lurking and browse my training options. Consider booking me to speak. Or let’s chat about a consult or some killer copy. Go on now; don’t be shy.