You know you’re a small business owner when…

Small business owner

You know you’re a small business owner when…

  1. A hard drive crash can rapidly ready you for a nice padded cell in a home for the criminally insane.
  2. You glibly speak about your dining room table, garage and/or study as ‘the office’, even if you’re wearing pink bunny slippers or working on your patio.
  3. You were once able to go to a fancy dress party as a zebra, because you tried to use those awful refillable toner cartridges – you know, the evil ones that come with the syringe?
  4. Your daily mood is 100% proportional to the strength and reliability of your office’s wifi signal.
  5. You’ve seriously considered a) branding your car or b) erecting a massive billboard along the perimeter wall of your house.
  6. You are paranoid about being breathed on by people with a cold, a cough, gastro, pink eye or any other dreaded lergy.
  7. You are the only person in your social circle who despises public holidays. Same workload; fewer days to do it in.
  8. December is both wonderful and terrible. Yes, it’s holiday time, but you (usually) don’t get a 13th cheque. And everyone else in your life does.
  9. You’ve never watched the cute panda sneezing video on Youtube.
  10. You’ll leave your pants at home before you go to a meeting without a business card.
  11. Your staff members are on Comfortable-Nickname-Basis with your spouse, kids, mother and mother-in-law.
  12. You keep a notepad and pen next to the bed, so that when you wake in a cold sweat at 4am you can list all of the urgent and important things you have to do the next day.

I’ve scored 9 out of a possible 12. Now you try.

How do YOU know you’re a small business owner? Let me know: Are there any I’ve left out?

* Originally published on

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