Who said filing had to be boring?
1. I am typing this very article from a chair at the hairdresser, where there’s free wifi, coffee, and the odd scalp massage.
2. I don’t have to be nice to people when I don’t bloody feel like it, just because they’re there.
3. When I wear the rare bit of lipstick, people tell me how nice I look – as opposed to saying, ‘You look tired…’ if I go to work without blusher on.
4. The expression ‘key performance indicators’ refers to something I write about, not something I have to benchmark myself against.
5. I have a one-year-old who very occasionally wanders into the office so that I can kiss her while I’m working. And no-one minds.
6. I use a punch that makes heart-shaped holes for my VAT filing. My colleagues think it’s too cute for words.
7. I can tell clients that I’m ‘about to walk into an appointment’ if they call while I’m popping into Woolworths between meetings.
8. I currently have a large plastic shower cap on my head [I’m at the hairdresser, remember?]. I look like an utter twit. But the London client I’ve been Skype-chatting with doesn’t know that.
9. At 7am this morning I put on trainers, so that I could try to squeeze in some exercise. I didn’t manage to, but that these things are possible makes me happy. And my trainers beat heels any day of the week.
10. I can catch up on backlogged admin in front of the TV after supper, and know that ultimately I’m working this hard for me and my family. Not to help pay for some executive bigwig’s matte-black Audi R8.